Whiplash moments

Life has been really lifey. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said this over the past month. To be dramatic, February was one of the most challenging stretches of time I’ve squeezed myself through lately.

It wasn’t a rock bottom kind of hard where I fell down and had to crawl myself out slowly. I know how to do that. It was a very different kind of hard. There were very high highs and very low lows. Almost as if someone put a trampoline at rock bottom. Each time I fell, I popped back up with alarming speed.

In ways, this seems as if this would be a good thing. Less time spent in the depths of rock bottom would be considered helpful. I won’t disagree. But I will say, I’m not quite used to the pace of this trampoline like contraption. And there is this intense uncertainty that arrives with periods of time like this as well.

Transitions are hard for me, they always have been. Most people would agree, they don’t love to swing from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows constantly. It is disorienting if you’re not used to this pace of movement. So for me to be in the middle of so many transitions and also feeling as if I am moving at a pace that is unlike anything I’ve ever done before, it’s jarring me to the core.

I’ve written about it time and time again but this is, yet again, a lesson in surrendering. As soon as I think I have learned all I need to learn about surrendering, the universe laughs and hands me a new experience to unpack. Well here I am, unpacking it the best I can.

The idea of whiplash has been very present during this time. A whiplash injury happens when there is a sudden and unexpected change in speed or direction that causes the head and neck to bear the impact of these changes. I’ve treated plenty of people for whiplash injuries after car accidents, falls or concussions. They are not easy to manage and often take longer than expected to recover.

There is one exception to this. One group of people that sometimes make it out of whiplash inducing events with minimal long term impacts. This group is impaired or inebriated drivers. I honestly do not like using this as an example but stick with me. When someone is under the influence, the ability for their body to respond quickly to situations is delayed. This delay in response means their muscles don’t brace for impact.

This lack of anticipation, allows the body to move through the whiplash without resistance. In essence, the body lets physics do its thing. When a sober person experiences a similar event, their body creates resistance in the form of muscle tension in hopes of slowing down the movement and minimizing the impact.

In theory, this is our mind and body protecting us the best it can. It thinks stability is our best option when outside forces try to knock us out of center. Essentially, it is our body’s attempt to control the external world. But when we have a big whiplash inducing event (or multiple back to back) our body starts to think any change in direction may be dangerous. All of a sudden, anything outside of our absolute center of gravity, is a threat to our system.

Rather than this protective mechanism of bracing, supporting us in big and intense moments, it is hyper vigilant to any tiny challenge from the outside world. This is why whiplash injuries linger and cause pain and tension for days, weeks, and sometimes years after an accident.

I can feel the tension creeping into my body as I write this. How interesting that a mechanism that is designed to keep us safe can also cause so much pain and discomfort. If we are bracing for impact any time we move through a change or transition in life, imagine the complications that may arise.

Because I don’t exactly want to tell you to move through life like an inebriated driver, I’m going to switch up the analogy. Have you ever dropped a bunch of uncooked spaghetti? It’s a pain in the ass to clean up because all the noodles break into tiny pieces right!? Now, what happens if you drop that same spaghetti after it’s cooked? Not a single noodle breaks and it is so much easier to pick up the mess!

What if we could work on being more like cooked spaghetti? Knowing that a little bit of flexibility may go a long way in how quickly we can clean up the mess of ourselves and come back to our center. Softness and flexibility become a superpower in moments of whiplash.

This is surrendering. Letting physics happen and trusting that it won’t break us. Believing that there is strength in letting go and giving in and resistance may cause more long term discomfort. The bracing for impact may be more harmful than the impact itself.

The hard part is that we have to let life “cook”us to learn how to be soft. We must experience these moments of impact that throw us out of balance. And then we must return to our center unscathed. It’s the returning to center that often gets lost in the details. And if we don’t return to center, we don’t return to safety.

Sometimes all it takes is one whiplash inducing moment to set us up for a lifetime of bracing for impact. Of walking around the world like uncooked spaghetti. Any change in direction or impact from the external world will send us to the floor in a million tiny pieces. That shit is annoying and takes so much time to clean up.

So that leads me to my last analogy which I hope makes you giggle as much as it made me when it popped into my head. This past month has been a challenge no doubt. But I also believe this last month has been one of the first times that I’ve been able to walk through the world as cooked spaghetti.

I just imagined a bunch of spaghetti falling off a cliff towards rock bottom, only to land on a trampoline and pop right back up! The little noodles screaming in terror on the way down but all those screams turning to joy as they bounced back up!

My mind still thinks I’m uncooked. My mind still believes anytime I experience whiplash, it will break me. But life has cooked me. I respond differently these days. I’m grateful for this and also a bit tired from jumping up and down so much! Both of these things can be true at the same time.

Anyway, I hope you think about happy little spaghetti noodles bouncing on a trampoline every time you hear about a whiplash inducing event. I hope you can appreciate the strength of softness and flexibility that are required of us to fully surrender. I hope that you can give yourself a bit more compassion when you start to move through the world differently. Because being cooked by life is not comfortable. But neither is bracing for impact for the rest of time.

So unclench your butt, drop your shoulders away from your ears, and let yourself embody cooked spaghetti. Surrender and soften to the falls, fully knowing that we can bounce back better if we quit bracing for impact.