What to do in the storm

In elementary school we had this thing called lunch bunch where we would have lunch with our guidance counselor once every few months. During these lunches, we would go around a circle and tell each other how we were feeling that day using the weather. For some reason this has always stuck with me. It is such a simple way to explain our internal landscape. And sometimes, even if we are grown adults, it is easier to say we are feeling sunny, cloudy or rainy rather than finding the exact emotions we are feeling.

My mind has been a bit of a stormy place lately. Because of this, I’ve caught myself attempting to dissociate and numb more than usual. Fun fact in case you didn’t know, pretending it isn’t raining has never stopped anyone from getting wet.

This nice little visual, of a storm in my mind, helped me to understand a concept I am currently studying in Yoga. Pratipaksa bhavana; when disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite (positive) ones should be thought of.

The very first time I head this from my teacher, I was put off a bit. It sounded like an unhealthy dose of toxic positivity. Any time you think of something negative, just think of something happy. Seems like avoidance to me! I am very good at avoidance, most of us are these days. In a world filled with endless distractions, it is far too easy to avoid anything and everything.

But the more I dove into this text, I realized it is far from avoidance. It was only my dichotomous leaning brain that wanted to name negative as bad and positive as good that saw this as avoidance. When I consider all negative thoughts as bad and only positive thoughts as good, then of course this sounds like avoidance. But as I’ve said before, in yoga, there is no good and bad. In our world, no matter how much we want it to exist, the dichotomy is a bold lie.

There is nothing inherently bad about negative thoughts and nothing inherently good about positive thoughts. They are both simply environments our mind experiences for the briefest of moments. I am not my thoughts, neither are you. As much as we get attached to how our mind works, it is not us. It is a tool at our disposal to experience our environment. Thoughts come and go, without ownership or agenda.

This is why the weather analogy works so well. We all know weather comes and goes. No storm lasts forever. No season lasts forever. The weather is always changing. So is the state of our mind. When we look at it this way, of course we are not our thoughts. We cannot be something that is so transient and temporary.

How does this relate to pratipaksa bhavana you ask? Let’s keep playing with the weather analogy. If a negative thought is a storm, we always have a few options of what to do when we are caught in the middle of a storm.

Option A: We could stand in the rain, drowning ourselves in self pity, getting soaked to the bone. Perhaps casually making an effort to walk towards shelter but not in a hurry because part of us has this nagging sense that we deserve to get wet for being so dumb to be outside when a storm was approaching. This is akin to wallowing when negativity overtakes our brain. We let the negative environment spiral us to an even darker place. This easily leads us to guilt and shame for our unpreparedness which usually slows us down even more. It gets heavy, uncomfortable and dark fast. Option A gets a 1/10 from me.

Option B: We could keep doing exactly what we were doing before the storm came, pretending the storm doesn’t exist. Not skipping a beat whatsoever, simply carrying on. Doing our best to act as if the rain isn’t bothering us even when we are getting soaked. This sure sounds like denial to me. And like I said at the beginning of this, pretending it isn’t raining has never stopped anyone from getting wet. This option, at first sounds enticing. To be able to forge on unbothered seems like a skill. But by the time we get to where we are going, we are just as heavy, uncomfortable and miserable as option A. Eventually, reality catches up to us, and sometimes it makes the storm feel even worse. I will give Option B a 3/10 just for nostalgias sake since this is one of my favorite coping mechanisms from the past.

Option C: We always have the option to dance in the rain. To find the pleasure and enjoyment that the storm brings our way. Sometimes letting ourselves get soaked and splashing in puddles can fill us with endless joy. Here, we are also making a choice to see the rain and decide that it is not a burden but a blessing. In a way, this could help us survive the storm with a lighter heart. But I would also argue that we may still be wet and weary by the time we get to our next destination. In a certain sense, this could be a way to visualize toxic positivity. Option C gets a 5/10 because I’m a sucker for puddle jumping.

Option D: We notice that our environment has shifted from a sunny day to a full on storm. We know that standing in the storm or forging on ahead without doing anything are not great options. Instead, we decide to pull out an umbrella or throw on a rain jacket to protect us from the rain. With this act, we acknowledge that the rain exists while also knowing that we have a choice to get wet or not. The umbrella is the tool we use to change our environment. It gives us the opportunity to transition from a negative environment of the storm to a more positive, dryer and safer environment. The umbrella cultivates a positive space out of a negative one. Wherever we are traveling, now we will get there dryer, calmer, safer and happier. Option D wins with a 10/10.

Option D is pratipaksa bhavana of course. This short sentence of, when disturbed by negative thoughts, opposite (positive) ones should be thought of, makes a lot more sense to me when I picture it this way. I am not wallowing in the rain. I am not pretending the rain doesn’t exist. I am not acting like the rain is a good thing while still getting pummeled by the storm. I am aware that my environment shifted to something that is challenging. That awareness allows me to make a choice that is best for me. A choice that will keep me dry and safe. A choice that will allow the storm to exist but not overwhelm me.

At the end of the day, storms will always come. Negative thoughts are going to happen. We will experience times when life feels hard to manage. Pratipaksa bhavana teaches us that these moments are not bad, they are simply a reminder. A gentle reminder that we always have a choice. A choice of how we respond to the storm, deal with the negative thought, or manage the challenges of life.

Life is full of experiences that are designed to move us forward. Negative thoughts, storms in the mind, are a part of life. Choosing to use an umbrella or throw on a rain jacket, essentially cultivating the opposite environment, seems like the most logical choice. So next time you feel your mind getting a little stormy, remember the most loving thing you can do is slip on that rain jacket, cultivate the opposite of a storm in your mind.

I don’t mean to minimize this concept or infer that it is simple by using this analogy. It simply helps me to comprehend ideas when an image is attached to it. By no means is this easy. If you catch yourself choosing option A, B or C, great! The first step is always awareness, the noticing of patterns. If we stay ignorant to other options, we can never change. So if you noticed your choice, congrats, you are one step closer to bringing pratipaksa bhavana into your life.

This is quite timely as there is a storm raging outside my window this very moment. A hike with a friend got canceled which could have gotten me a bit down. But my umbrella today is to spend time writing, reading and getting as cozy as possible indoors. I might even whip up some hot soup and pumpkin muffins later!

I hope wherever you are, you always find a way to keep yourself safe and protected in every storm.