The spirals of life

Life is spiralic rather than linear. This has been a big theme in my life over the past few years but has popped up more than usual the past couple of weeks. The more I try to make life linear, the more I get pulled into the spiral of it all. It is something that I am used to by now but I was taken for a ride this past week that made it far too evident. I tried everything to avoid the truth of it but the universe simply wasn't having any of it.

I lived most of my life thinking time moved linearly. That the only way for time to fall is forward and no other movement of time existed. Yet, here I am, spiraling though life, realizing there is a lot more to this world than a straight line. It is an easy trap to fall into for most of us. We see a point in the distance that is enticing us forward, the obvious path to that point is a straight line. If a goal is set, we want to take the direct path towards it rather than the winding road.

As tempting as it is to move forward in one direction for the entirety of life, it simply is no longer an option for me. When moving as if time is linear, only one viewpoint is ever achieved. My eyes are always set forward, without the need to look in any other direction. This provides a clear sight towards the goal but blurs the rest of the world into the periphery. It is possible to live a life linearly for some, but I simply cannot.

What does it even mean to spiral through life? The first time I was introduced to this concept was by my therapist. I was struggling with a situation that felt like a repeat of one in the past. I was confused as to why I had returned to a difficulty that I thought I had moved through already. She so graciously explained to me that life is always going to happen in cycles, meaning lessons will be repeated frequently in our lives. She encouraged me to think about it as if I am walking up a spiral staircase. At one point during every spiral of the stairs, I will see the same scene below me, but from a different viewpoint. This is how life works. Each time it feels as though we are cycling through the same experience, often we are actually getting a new perspective on that experience. The higher we climb on the stairs, the more zoomed out our perspective becomes, the easier the lesson is to digest.

This is the gift of living spiralically. We get to dive deeper into understanding each lesson that comes our way. Life sometimes feels like we are stuck on a carousel, going round and round, repeating the same moments again and again. But when we start climbing the stairs, those moments that felt identical at first, start to become a bit different. Each time we turn the corner to the same view, we have gone through an entire revolution of life, a time that has taught us and helped us grow, making that view the same but completely different.

Understanding the spiralic nature of life took a lot of unlearning and relearning, a strong dose of rewilding if you will. But it has been the greatest gift to begin to see how cyclical life truly is. My least favorite part of it is, the more you resist this rhythm, the more the universe makes it too obvious to ignore.

Yesterday I listened to a voice note I recorded exactly one year ago. It was eerie how relatable it was to this exact moment I am currently living through. For a moment, I felt as if I was on that carousel. I immediately guilting myself for making zero progress in the span of a year. How is it possible that I still hold the same doubts, fears and uncertainties within me? I have experienced so much over the past year, it must have changed me, right?!

After a short little pause, I was able to calm my mind down enough to realize, I in fact, am not on a carousel but of course I am walking up that spiral staircase. I was able to lean into all the ways I have shifted and grown over the past year helping to change my perspective ever so slightly. I may not have made progress towards that goal in a linear fashion but progress has been made.

That is the biggest crux to spiralically moving through time, it is slow. In a linear sense, the point in the distance that is my goal may only be one mile away, but spiraling towards it might take ten miles. This seems like a poor life choice, why walk ten miles rather than one? But I am learning that I would much rather reach my destination with many perspectives and a deep understanding of the path that got me here. The linear path robs me of a perspective beyond the straight road in front of my feet. I can no longer live so narrowly and feel authentic to myself.

Our world wants us to believe that time only moves linearly. That the best path between two points is a straight line. That there is no need for the circular and winding roads that appear inefficient and confusing to follow. But I beg to disagree. I believe that the twist and turns of life are what help us to build strength and resilience. Every spiral I manage to experience in my life lifts me higher and widens my view. The spirals and cycles are what help in so many ways, seen and unseen.

There is also a level of compassion that can be found when we begin to recognize these cycles and spirals within our lives. It is a potent way to recognize the lessons that are meant for us to fully digest in this lifetime. I now know that when something continues to repeat in my life, it must be brought into focus. Not with a linear view but with a spectrum of perspectives that the spiral staircase of life affords me.

Repetition is not a bad thing, it truly is the best way to learn. But keeping the same perspective over and over, living life on a carousel, will not move you in any direction. Only when we are willing to acknowledge the spiralic nature of life and begin to climb the stairs presented to us, can we begin to learn from life in a new way.

This is an encouragement to pay attention to what is spiraling in and out of your life. Notice where lessons and experiences are repeating for you. Remember that the linear path is not the only way to move through life, widen your perspective with a spiral or two.