The bridges in life

Transition. This word keeps popping into my mind. It feels as though everyone around me is going through intense transitions. My own life is shifting deeply as well. No, it’s not just the energy of the new year, it is something more mysterious. I can’t fully explain it but transitions are happening everywhere. It is reminding me of a sweet memory from right before I left Colorado.

Before I left my job as a physical therapist, my work family threw me a going away party. I loved many things about my job but the way we acknowledged and celebrated just about any occasion was really something special. My incredible boss, who is also a dear friend, was always the catalyst for these events. She would painstakingly pick out a card that was perfect for the person and pass it around the office for us all to sign. At times, it felt like there was always a card floating around to be signed. We would toss casual complaints her way but I know we all secretly loved her intentions and actions.

The card my work family got me for my last day made us all laugh hysterically. It said, “life is full of transitions” on the front. It was intended for someone actively transitioning to a different gender, not quite the transition I was embarking on. But my all too innocent and loving boss was right, life is full of transitions. It was the perfect card!

To transition; the process or period of changing from one condition or state to another. Synonyms are change, metamorphosis, transmutation, progress, shift, evolve, grow, or move. I can’t tell you how many times each of those synonyms have come up in my writing and journaling. But I have rarely used the word transition. I can’t explain why it feels more relevant now.

Transition, it feels like it has more bite to it. As if it has harder edges compared to the gentleness of the words shift, progress or grow. The origins of the word is the Latin word transire meaning to go across. In a way, a transition is a bridge, from one solid place to another. This makes the act of transitioning feel precarious at times, as if you are no longer on solid ground.

There are many types of bridges we experience in our lives. Some massive, well traveled and sturdy like the Charles bridge in Prague. It has stood as a connection from one side of the Vltava river to the other since the 15th century. This beautiful bridge makes the transition easy and smooth. There is little fear evoked by crossing it. Just ask the thousands of tourists that walk it daily!

But there are other types of bridges as well. I crossed a river in a rainforest in Sri Lanka on a bridge that looked sturdy and made of metal. But as soon as I stepped on it, I realized it looked far more stable than it felt. Every step I took caused the whole bridge to bounce and sway. I did not feel unsafe, but I felt very alert to the potential for danger.

Or there was the short bridge made of bamboo tied together I had to walk across to get to this little outcropping of rocks on the beach a few days ago. It looked almost too sketchy to use, but many people we using it. And when I found the courage to walk across it, I found it was much sturdier than it appeared.

I suppose that is the beauty about bridges and transitions alike; expectations and reality can be very contrasting and that can be quite confusing.

A steady looking bridge can end up making your heart race. A transition that everyone is telling you is the ‘right thing to do’ can still feel unsettling.

Or the bridge that doesn’t look like it will hold you will end up taking you to the most magical place (the most fun tide pools filled with mudskippers, crabs and sea urchins in my case!) The transition that doesn’t seem fully logical can be the one that gets you to the place your soul is meant to be.

I suppose this is simply my reminder to myself that each transition I make, every bridge I cross, will look and feel different. My ‘scariest’ bridge may be someone else’s Charles bridge and vis versa. We are all simply trying to traverse a period of uncertainty to move towards the solid ground we can see on the other side. This time of liminality is temporary, as is everything in life. A bridge is a moment in time we must walk across, even in complete fear or overwhelming joy, action is necessary.

Life is full of transitions that we must make one way or another. It is not always true, but I whole heartedly believe we can often choose what bridges we take and which ones we pass by. But when we cannot choose, a healthy dose of courage, a hand to hold or a voice to guide us, and keeping our eyes on the horizon of that solid ground on the other side, will help us to cross with a bit more ease. So for my fellow bridge walkers, the ones in the messy middle of transitions, I see you, feel you and am with you.

So thank you Melanie, for the best card to start this weird and wild transition I am on! This bridge has felt like all of the above at various moments, but I am beginning to see the solid ground coming into focus.