Subtle body strength

I’ve had such a interesting experience with my physical body over the past few months. I have struggled to fully comprehend it and express it in a way that makes sense in this world but I am going to do what I can. Recently I have felt better in my body than ever before. It is as if I have an entirely new physical form. They say that every cell in your body is recycled and replaced every seven years. Well it feels like every cell hit that seven year mark at once.

I know that is not the case because that isn’t quite how that science works. But, I do know that my physical body has undergone a transformation. Even though I say it often, it blows my mind that everything is connected. The past few months have been a constant reminder of this very statement. Strength is not only cultivated in our physical body. It is possible to develop strength in many ways throughout our lifetime. And no matter the avenue, they are all intertwined at the end of the day.

Let me rewind for a second. I have always considered myself a physically fit and active person. Growing up as an athlete, constant motion was all I knew. I loved to move and challenge my body in any way possible. When I wasn't participating in sports any longer, I was running. When my body needed a break from running, I turned to lifting and hiking up mountains. So when my body asked for a break from any and all physical challenges, I was not quite sure how to process it at first.

About three years ago, in the middle of a lot of life transitions, my body asked me for a break. I knew enough to listen. I am grateful to my career as a PT, as it allowed me to witness repeatedly what happens when people do not listen to the calling to slow down. Our bodies always know what they need. It just comes down to our ability to trust ourselves over the messaging of our current culture.

We live in a world that constantly tells us to do more, go faster, reach higher, and push harder. None of these things are inherently bad but eventually the opposite must arrive to maintain balance. Frequently, the opposite of the culture of more, faster, higher, and harder feels too uncomfortable to accept with grace. I consider it one of the many blessings of that time in my life that I was able to willingly slow down.

Physically, this meant doing the exact opposite of what I often recommend to my patients. Rather than getting the 150 minutes a week of aerobic activity and strength training 3-4x week, I gave myself permission to only do what felt good. Slow hiking and gentle walks along with what I call granny yoga is all my body craved. Of course, there were still moments of intensity but the frequency was drastically reduced.

That season of gentleness, of trusting my body and allowing it to lead, lasted three years. Good things take time, or so they say. My physical body did change over those years and accepting that is a beautiful conversation for another day. During that same time, as my physical body received the rest it needed, I put in the work in other realms of my life. In yoga, it is called the subtle body. If our physical body is the flower, the subtle body is the stem, leaves and roots. The physical body is the fun, bright and visible part where the rest blends into the background or is invisible to the naked eye all together.

Along with our physical body, we also contain this subtle body, made up of an energetic, thought and belief layer. It is believed that all of these different layers intertwine to create our idea of self. We are not just our physical body. We are not just our mind and thoughts. We are not just our beliefs or energy. We are inherently something beyond all of these things but still tied to each of them deeply.

It is commonly known that what we experience physically, often has a strong influence on how we mentally and emotionally feel. We know that exercising regularly and eating well helps keep our mental health or subtle body strong and flexible. But we do not always remember how that relationship also flows in the other direction. Working on our subtle body directly and indirectly impacts our physical body. The stronger the roots and stem, the bigger the flowers can bloom.

I know this, I teach this, yet I still get knocked off my feet when I experience it. I love how life can sneak up on us in this way. After three years of physical rest, as soon as I returned to Ohio in September, my physical body ached to be challenged. I dove in with reckless abandon. I started lifting 4-5x week along with running and swimming just as frequently. In my mind, I knew it was too much at once after such a long break, but it felt so good, I couldn't stop myself.

It shocked me when three weeks in to this intense routine, I felt stronger and was running faster than I have in probably ten years. In years past when I was working out at this pace, my body would be constantly sore and achy. What would have previously left me exhausted only gave me more energy this time. Of course I had some soreness but it was as if my body had healing abilities beyond a normal capacity now. I felt my strength build daily in a way I have never experienced before.

After sitting with this and allowing my body to continue to lead, I found so much peace and understanding. Over the past three years, I have worked my ass off to build strength and resilience through my subtle body. Breath work, therapy, energy work and this entire obsession over rewilding is all subtle body work. This strengthening of my subtle body directly and indirectly strengthened my physical form without any physical effort on my part. All my energy went to fortifying my roots, stems and leaves, in preparation for flowers when the time came.

This deep work required a lot of my energy and time though. In a way, my physical body knew this. The inner wisdom within gifted me with a prolonged season of physical rest to redirect all my energy into this subtle realm. It culminated in my soul asking for an entire year off from “the real world”. A true sabbatical from anything and everything that pulled energy from me. I didn’t fully know why and I’m still grappling with understanding it all but where the universe has led me is beautiful.

I know in many ways I have veered from the traditional path of life. I could have continued to push myself physically over the past few years like I had done for my entire life previously. That is what the world often asks of us to do. To override our internal guidance system, forget about our subtle body and rely on the physical strength we have spent a lifetime cultivating. Rest feels like a privilege for many and our subtle body too obscure to be a reality. In ways, we live in a world that only sees flowers as valuable while discarding the rest of the plant that supported and was necessary for its growth.

But there was something in me that understood I needed to change. Life felt full of resistance. If you try to speed up a system with resistance present, only one thing can happen; more resistance is created. I was able to put on the brakes before life did it for me. Something I will never take for granted. Resting my physical body allowed me to cultivate strength beyond comparison.

There is so much more to this life than what we can physically feel and see. When we get curious about these subtle parts of life, a new world is accessed within. A world where limits seem non existent and potential is endless. Spending time here over the past few years has opened up more doors for me than I could have ever imagined.

Experiencing these connections with my physical body over the past few months has been surreal. Again, life knocked me off my feet when I least expected it, in the best of ways. It has also been such a potent reminder that the work we do is not always visible or valued in society.

So give yourself and everyone around you grace at all times. If you don’t feel like you are blooming right now, perhaps it is because your energy is going to your roots. Perhaps the stronger and deeper the roots, the more beautiful the eventual bloom. Always remember, there isn’t just one way to cultivate strength in this life.