Plan and let go

I’m writing to you all from Toronto Canada! I had an overnight layover here before I fly onwards towards India tonight! The plan was to explore Toronto today but it’s rainy and I packed my rain jacket in my checked bag. But the plan has changed. That is the beauty of travel, plans always change.

I learned an important lesson from my yoga teacher Twyla, (who I am meeting in India so soon and can’t wait to keep learning from her!) The lesson was simply, plan and let go. Plan for what you hope to happen and then know that plans often change. Often, we want to carry expectations that our plans will come to fruition, but that cannot be true all the time. When we hold rigidly to the expectations of our mind, we find ourselves suffering often. Because life is full of uncontrollables. And the gap between reality and expectation is where suffering lives. So if I plan and let go, I can release my expectations and know that what will happen, will happen.

This philosophy has served me well this past year. I rarely travel without plans going awry. It used to cause me pain when things didn’t work out as I expected. But now I can often laugh at how unexpected things often become the most magical and wonderful parts of the trip. Today I got to the airport obscenely early, a mere 5 hours before my flight. I love getting to the airport early but this is excessive even for me! But it has given me time to relax and enjoy the lounge as I write this blog. So it’s not quite exploring Toronto but it is likely just what I needed before two long back to back flights.

I often imagine the plan as a straight line from point A to B. Reality is a zig zag, loop de loop and chaotic path, but it still goes from point A to B. When comparing the two, all the sudden that straight line looks a bit boring to me. Also, how do we know that the ‘plan’ wasn’t always the zig zag path? Perhaps we need those ‘detours’ for one reason or another. It’s my belief, that everything works out exactly as it is meant even when it doesn’t feel that way at the time.

Along that same premise, I no longer allow myself to say “that didn’t work out”. Because it did work out, unless you died…if you died, then sure you can say it didn’t work out all you want. But what you mean when you say it is actually, “that didn’t work out the way I expected”. Again, back to expectations. We cannot predict the future, we cannot control what happens around us, we cannot keep plans perfectly. That is all okay! It simply doesn’t feel okay if we resist it.

I am done with resisting. I am all here for planning, but also letting go. And trust me, I plan a lot! Even though I love traveling, I also have a lot of anxiety around any type of traveling, especially internationally. I will get to places a hour or two before any reasonable human would. I will know how I am getting to each place and review it about 20 times before I leave for the trip. It’s okay to plan to decrease anxiety. But I have also decreased anxiety by learning to laugh at the experiences life throws my way through traveling.

The obstacles in life are only obstacles if you view them as such. Some see obstacles where others see a new experience. New experiences can feel scary but when we frame them in our mind as exciting, it can feel less overwhelming. I still struggle to differentiate between anxiety and excitement in my body. Sometimes this fucks with me more than it should but I can also use it to my advantage when I am aware. I can tell myself I am excited rather than anxious. I can remind myself that something big and new and expansive is heading my way and that is why I feel this way.

So next time something doesn’t work out exactly as you planned, can you reframe it as an opportunity to let go? The only thing we can control at the end of the day is our reaction to everything that happens around us. Plan and let go. The best travel advice I can give!

PS- This entire blog was simply a reminder to myself as I wait with not so eager anticipation to see if I will get the stomach bug that I’ve been exposed to three times while in Ohio…So a very entertaining/terrifying blog may be next!

**Edited 12/4/23 PPS- I survived an 8 hour and another 9 hour flight without diverting any planes due to bodily fluids unintentionally leaving my body! And I’m still feeling great, thankfully! But this writing still holds true as we are in the middle of a cyclone and temporarily stranded in our hotel due to local flooding. And it has still been the best two days I could have imagine! The zig zags and loop de loops are truly where the magic lives!