My Life is awesome

I was in the middle of a yoga asana class, when I had the silliest thought. As I looked up and saw the lotus flower tattoos on my arm, I couldn’t help but smile and think to myself, “my life is awesome!”

This truly felt like a revelation, which is even sillier. My life is incredibly beautiful, this is a fact I have known for a long time now. But as the one who is living it, I can easily get lost in the mundane and muddy aspects of it and lose sight of how awesome my life truly is.

I have been swimming through a season or challenges lately which also tends to muddy up the waters and cloud my vision of myself. It is so incredibly easy to lose perspective of how beautiful life is,m. I am slowly making my way to clearer waters as challenges are being cleared and moved through. This moment in yoga, for whatever reason, was a flash of clarity. One I desperately needed.

It reminded me of a time, so very long ago, when the internet was just a baby and Facebook was just for college kids. There was a website or blog, I can’t quite remember, where people would randomly post a short sentence of why their lives were awesome.

It was always the sweetest and silliest little things and each sentence ended with MLIA, short for, my life is awesome. I can’t even remember an example to share but I think you get the idea.

This little flash of a moment in yoga zoomed me out of the tunnel I had dug myself into lately. It reminded me that my life is awesome, for more reasons that I can list here. What a gift. For my brain to pop this sweet nugget of a memory out of its hiding place in my mind today. Just when I needed it.

Again, it is so easy to not see ourselves clearly. This happens for a myriad of reasons. From the company we keep, the cultures we immerse ourselves in and the society that is constantly “shoulding” all over us. In ways, it feels easier to hide behind an idea or mask of myself rather than remember my own magic.

Then our mind allows us moments of clarity like this. When we see ourselves for who we have become and not the ideas of who we should be. I am beyond proud of who I am, even when my life feels a bit chaotic and unclear. Perhaps the messier my life feels, the more myself I am becoming!?

In this rewilding journey, this coming home to myself, I am beginning to see myself clearer and clearer every day. Of course, I still have moments of being stuck in the mud where I lose my sight, but I’m learning to honor that too. Every time I transition through a challenging time, it gifts me with even more perspective. It makes my life feel all the more magical.

It is almost as if we need to lose clarity of who we are to have the contrast to see ourselves clearly. Moments of chaos remind us what calm feels like. Muddy waters make crystal clear streams even more beautiful.

I’m writing this sitting next to a quiet river on a Monday afternoon. Sun shining on my back and my dog, Trek, lazily exploring along the waters edge. This life I am in right now, is something else. To live in a place I dreamed of as a kid. Where I can see mountains, elk, eagles, and crystal clear rivers by just stepping outside. It feels like a dream sometimes.

A dream that I have fought for and made into reality. It may be possible to just stumble our way into a beautiful and magical life but more often than not, it requires focus and perseverance. And knowing what the fuck you actually want out of life (which is something I’m still trying to figure out!)

The lesson from today though was simply that it is okay to lose sight of who I am sometimes. Perhaps, it is even necessary. By getting stuck in the muddy waters of life, we are forced to slow down and pause.

The best way to get out of muddy water is not to push through but to stop moving and be still. Only when we pause and quit kicking up mud from the bottom, can the mud settle and the water returns to its natural state, clear.

My life is awesome and magical. There isn’t anything I need to do or prove to make these facts exist. All I need to do is pause long enough to let the mud settle. To pause and find clarity of who I truly am.

I never would have imagined a life like this. My wildest dreams wouldn’t have created this existence. My very best daydreams pale in comparison to my actual life. I am grateful for this every day.

I have become someone that my younger self would stand in awe of. If that isn’t awesome, I don’t know what is. I can’t wait to continue to become someone that little Jenna would delight in. That is what life is about right!? Finding your magic, your light, your gift, whatever you want to call it, and unleashing it onto the world.

My life is awesome, simple as that. Even when I doubt it, question every decision and have no idea where I am, my life is still awesome. It is all about perspective.

So zoom out. Step back. Pause and notice. What makes your life awesome right now!? My guess is there is a lot more awesome in your life than you can even realize.

Let the mud settle and find clarity again. As hard as it may feel in the moment, I know you will see the magic in your life soon.