Love Heals

You want to know a really fun fact!? Love heals. It is so simple, I will say it again. Love heals. I thought I knew love for all of my life and then I learned that love is completely unconditional.

This is something I’ve known and experienced in abundance over the last few years but I’ve had a certain beautiful soul walk into my life recently and remind me how important the unconditional part is in love.

My heart has been mending itself over many years now. I’ve now reached a point in the process where I can’t quite get to the bits that are asking to be mended. By divine timing, I’ve landed in a space where unconditional love flows freely. I have found a community of messy souls that are choosing to do this love thing together and it is beyond beautiful to witness.

No, I have not stumbled into a cult, or at least I don’t think I have!? But who really knows these days!? A cult built on love, I will take it over the cult we are all unconsciously living in. One that tells us rugged individualism is all we need and that if we accomplish this and own that, we will find the happiness we believe we deserve.

I truly believe the universe guided me here and has been preparing me for this place for quite some time. One sweet synchronicity is that I chose to bring only one book on this trip to save space. I chose a book I have read before because it called to me the loudest. It is, All About Love by Bell Hooks. Quite timely I would say.

I only made it through the first few chapters before I handed it over to a friend to dive into but that is all I needed. This book breaks down the idea of love into something that makes so much more sense to me. She uses the definition of love as, “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” How beautiful! It breaks my heart a little bit to consider how so much of what we consider love may not be quite hitting the mark.

But this definition, the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing our own and others spiritual growth, heals me. It is unconditional. When love is defined as a way for us to evolve and help others evolve, there is no need to do anything to earn it.

I am constantly on the road to loving myself more. I cannot say with clarity that I have found complete unconditional love for myself quite yet. Every time I sense I am near, I get pulled back into an old wound. These moments are not backslides or stumbles, just little bumps on the path that slow me down and help me pay attention.

I’ve had a few uncomfortable bumps lately and was not sure how I was going to love myself through them. But again, by divine timing, I have landed in a place where people know how to love unconditionally. A big lesson that I am learning is that love truly does heal, no matter where it comes from.

I sometimes slip into the misconstrued idea that I have to love myself first. That only self love is required to love myself completely and unconditionally. That in theory, I could love myself into total acceptance without receiving any love from external sources. This may be true, but if it is, it is a long road.

I have done my best to love all the parts of myself. Especially before showing those parts to others, I prefer to be a peace with these parts. It is much easier to show up in a world as someone you love than to show up with a part that feels unlovable. But can I actually show up fully if this is how I am walking through the world!? I do not believe so.

I am not great at showing up as the parts of myself that I still name as unloveable. It has and continues to create resistance in my life that is becoming too loud to ignore. But sometimes all it takes is one person to see you and not flinch. For one person to look you in the eyes and give you permission to show up with all the parts of you, no matter how you feel about them.

I didn’t realize how strongly I was still clinging to the story that I contain parts that are unlovable. That bits of me can only be loved conditionally. I must do this or act that way to receive love. Oh the shame that sneakily still lives in so many corners of my being. So, I will take all the discomfort that the past two weeks have held a million times over. Because there has been so much shame shaken out of me in an incredibly short time.

I am learning that I don’t have to love myself first. I can show up messy and broken and there are people that exist in this world that can give me the love I can’t find for myself. Receiving love like this, unconditionally and fully, heals almost instantaneously. There may be a longer path to get here that I could travel on my own accord but I am impatient.

Now that I know there is a cheat code to this healing with love thing, I think I will stick with it. It has given me so much courage to show up and ask for the love I need in every moment. It has reminded me that love that comes from a desire to nurture every souls evolution, is the sweetest medicine.

Often what we need most in a moment is right under our nose. I can humbly say that I have learned to give love in this way and do it very well. But receiving the same medicine that I pour out is a whole different story.

I am immeasurably grateful for the souls that have walked into my life recently and handed that medicine right back to me. I cannot say I didn’t squirm and attempt to run and hide, but thankfully, with patience and persistence of a beautiful soul, I am drinking it all in.

Love really does heal, in the most magical ways. Let it in. Let the medicine soothe the ache in our hearts. Because the more we love ourselves, the more we love each other. And this world needs a hell of a lot more love right now.