Lessons from repotting plants

“Nature’s homeostasis is growth”

I heard this quote two days ago and I woke up with such a deep awareness of it. It felt like the answer to so many questions in life in a really beautiful way. Homeostasis, the state of equilibrium within the body, is the preferred state for all beings of nature to be in. In my mind, homeostasis feels static at times. As if to be in homeostasis, there must be no movement. Rest, calm, relaxed and regulated are words that I assume would define homeostasis for a human. All body systems work optimally in this state so it must be a gentle state of being.

But if you think about how to define life at the most basic level, it is growth. Cells within our body are constantly attempting to divide. If they stop all the processes that work towards this division, we would assume the cell is dead. Death is the absence of the processes that support growth. If we bring this out to the macro level in nature, it also makes sense.

Plants naturally grow. This shifts and changes with the seasons but it never fully stops. It may even appear that the plants sole purpose is to grow towards the most important things in its life; the sun above and the water below. Plants require energy to expand. Energy from the light of the sun in combination with the water and minerals below. If a plant stops reaching above and below, there is a risk of no longer accessing these precious needs.

When a house plant is in a pot, the limitations of the pot do not always stop this growth. Many times I have left a plant too long in a pot to only discover it is root bound. The plant has attempted to seek further resources for so long that roots have reached every crevice and space within the pot. When this gets too limiting for the plant, the leaves begin to wither. When a plant cannot grow any further downward, through its roots, it begins to feel the threat of death.

The beauty of nature is it seeks attention when it feels threatened. The leaves change, the upward growth stalls, it becomes evident that growth is not an option any longer. This triggers me to know something must change. It calls me towards the need for a bigger pot for this ever expanding plant. It is always beautiful to witness a plant returning to itself once repotted. For the leaves to regain color, the blooms to brighten and for it to stretch higher.

We are nature. Our homeostasis is growth as well. Where I used to see the need for quiet and restful balance as homeostasis, I now understand. It has always been growth. It has always been the need to stretch and grow towards the things that give us life. Sometimes in life, our body also gives us signs of stagnation, physical, mental and emotional warning signs that our growth is being limited. It can show up in a million different ways but most often it is simply a discomfort we would rather ignore.

Growth is not exactly what most people enjoy. The term growing pains exist to explain the physical growth that occurs when we are young, but it can be an apt term to describe all sorts of growth we experience in our lives. The discomfort of growth can often tumble into pain and continue to make its way fully into suffering if we aren’t paying attention.

What feels like the best times to be alive can sometimes be moments of pause from growth. The points in life when we have a sense that we figured it out, we unlocked the mystery and put everything in the right place. Those sweet spots in life where everything lines up and you feel like you can finally take a well deserved rest. This can be the happy relationship, the ideal family, the dream job, the life goal achieved. The events in your life that you have always assumed meant you made it. It is like reaching an imaginary finish line in life. The race to that moment is over and all you want to do is savor in the achievement.

But then something happens that is completely unexpected. In a moment where you assumed life would feel easy and pure, discontent begins to rise. These are the moments we were told would feel the best, but then why do they feel not quite right? The stability we are all seeking; the things that we believe will make life feel right and good and whole, can make us feel as if our growth has stopped. All of a sudden, our roots reach the edge of our pot and have no more room to expand.

What if we limited ourselves to a pot that is too small? We reach these milestones in life and think we do not need to expand further because this pot is so nice and cozy. It is a pot we have dreamed of for our entire life. It was the pot that everyone told us would make us happy and fulfilled. But jokes on us, homeostasis is growth, we will always be growing towards a new pot.

If we don’t, if we try to stay in the same pot, just like a plant, the signs will become evident. The discomfort of being root bound will make itself known. First, subtly but with time, the pain swells. The symptoms strengthen as every cell within us urges us towards growth. It wants to grow but one of the most basic necessities of growth is space to expand into. No matter how strong an organism is, it will die if it is not strong enough to break through the container that limits it.

Are we giving ourselves space to stay in homeostasis? Are we seeing our symptoms of being root bound and considering it may be time to get a new pot? What I have discovered is, if we do not get ourselves a new pot, inevitably our roots will begin to crack our current pot. Or perhaps something external to us will destroy the pot before we even know what is happening. It is for our benefit, but fuck, it is jarring. To be fully exposed and have no place to root into available, is incredibly vulnerable.

This all clicked for me because I was asked for the first time in a while why I took a year off. Why I left this incredibly beautiful and sweet space of my life in Eagle. This visual, of my pot being too small, my roots being bound, perfectly describes it. Could I have found a bigger pot in the same place? Of course I could have. But I choose a different route. I needed to give myself space to stay in the homeostasis of growth. I was sensing this need for expansion that my current pot in life would not support.

It felt like the first time in my life that I chose to replant myself before I became fully rootbound. It was harder than ever because the physical symptoms were so subtle. Part of me still feels like I should have pushed my expansion as much as I could before leaving. But why do we always have to be root bound before we give ourselves more space?

What if we could be so aware of ourselves that we know what we need before we reach the level of discomfort and pain? This is something I was never taught. In ways, it was almost the opposite. Suffering is often glorified in our puritanically derived society. The ones who can suffer and endure the most are the most good. It is inevitable to suffer so why not self inflict it rather than be surprised by it.

We are taught to tolerate the discomfort of stagnation more than the discomfort of growth. Both can potentially lead to death, but isn’t life is always leading to death. As far as I know, nobody has figured out immortality yet.

If homeostasis is growth, then our natural and preferred state is expansion. Being static for too long will set off alarm bells and warning signs. It is always our choice what we are most comfortable with; the discomfort of stagnation or the discomfort of growth. I choose homeostasis, I choose growth.

So i will give myself space to grow. I will repot myself before too many leaves die. I will pay attention to the subtle symptoms of being root bound. I will be kind to myself when I do repot myself, because it takes a minute to figure out the new pot and environment. Life is not meant to be easy but it is definitely not meant to be lived in one place, literal or metaphorical, for our entire lives.

We are nature, we require growth towards what resources us. Expansion is inevitable, resist it at your own risk.