Lessons from an orange

I am quiet often but I rarely allow my world to be silent. There is a big but subtle difference between being quiet and being silent. Being quiet can be effortless but being silent often requires effort. The intentionality of silence is the challenge but also the beauty. To say, “no, not right now”, in a world that is constantly asking for our attention, is not easy. It is not something that will happen without effort.

I’m a few hours into a two day stretch of silence. Already, I have found a place within myself that I love to be and for that I am incredibly grateful. But this is not my first time playing around with silence. When I first met intentional silence, my mind was a messy place to be. This spilled over into my silence. Everything felt messy and challenging. I know that I have a long stretch of time ahead of me and the mess will show up to the party eventually. So I will savor in the sweetness that silence can be.

This morning during breakfast I had an orange. (among other things! Even in silence, I love to eat!) There is a common meditation that can be done with an orange. The idea is to take a full hour to eat the orange. From seeing it, smelling it, peeling it and finally eating it, do everything slowly and with mindfulness.

I did not take an hour to eat my orange, but I did do it with a lot more mindfulness than I usually do. Of course, simply eating an orange taught me so much. It still shakes me every time a simple part of my life teaches me the sweetest of lessons. I will say it a million times, but everything in this life is our teacher.

This beautiful orange was a wise friend to me as it reminded me of many lessons I am continually learning about life. It felt like the entire process from start to finish was a metaphor for starting a new adventure in this life.

Holding the orange in my hand, I could feel the weight of it but it also had a sense of lightness. I could only see the bright peel and if I didn’t know, would have no idea what the inner fruit looks like. But my mind did a very normal thing and imagined what it would look like, smell like and taste once I got through the peel.

When we are beginning a new endeavor in life, we can only imagine the possibilities. There is no way to see what is actually to come, so our brain fills in the gaps with what we know from prior life. There is excitement but also weight in this. Will the inside be like we imagined? It is impossible to know if we do not begin to peel.

Peeling an orange is such a toss up. Sometimes the peel slides off with such little effort. Other times, it is so adhered to the fruit below that you must pick one tiny piece off at a time. The peel can be thin and tough or thick and juice.

This mornings peel was juicy but came off easily. I slowly unraveled the peel, watching the bitter juice from the peel explode from the skin with every tug. By the time I finished peeling the orange, my hand was dripping with the bitter juice of it. This is not my favorite tactile experience even though I love the smell. It was messy but it dried quickly and left my hand feeling a bit sticky. But the fragrance was so enticing.

Taking the first steps of a new journey can be similar. Some aspects may be enjoyable while others make you cringe. Depending on the journey, the first steps can be a thin and tough peel, taking more time and effort to begin while others can slide off with one swipe of the thumb. We honestly never know unless we begin to act.

Now, the bright peel is off to reveal a pretty dull interior. To go from the exciting orange peel to a mostly white ball is less than thrilling. But then you break it in half, sometimes sweet juice drips out of the segments giving you a little taste of what lies inside. Again, the color and scent becomes alluring.

Sometimes after the initial thrill of starting an adventure wears off after the first step is complete. You take the rose colored glasses off for the first time, realizing not every part of this may be fun. But almost immediately, another completed action brings your hope back. A little effort is often rewarded with a dose of dopamine to keep you going.

Finally, it is time to take the first bite. The sensory experience so far has excluded taste, one of my favorite senses. Nature did well when designing the anatomy of an orange. The delight that is created by the pop of each segment between our teeth, releasing a rush of sweet juice within our mouths, is simply divine. Instantly, I crave to eat another segment and another, wanting this experience to continue.

There is so much that is overwhelmingly exciting when jumping into a new adventure. After the work of planning and preparing and finally starting, it is almost magical to taste the result. One hit and we want to keep doing this forever. Almost instantly, we cannot imagine our life before this experience, everything is changed.

As you continue to chew the segment though, eventually the juice barely lingers while the fibrous bits continue to require the work of chewing. There is less satisfaction in doing this part, but you know it’s necessary to allow you to eat another slice. I suppose you could spit out the fibrous part but we know this part is just as beneficial for us as the juice of the fruit.

Even if an adventure is everything you need and desire, there will still be parts that feel like work. This is necessary. Just like the fibrous bits of an orange help our digestive system, these less fun tasks build capacity and ability to continue to move forward.

Sometimes you even find a seed within a segment. Something that must be spit out. Other times we get a more bitter segment followed by the sweetest one we’ve tasted. Within a single orange, every segment may taste slightly different.

Even when every part of a new journey feels repetitive, there are unique things to discover and experience constantly. It is important to continue to move mindfully as to not trip ourselves up when things like seeds appear.

This morning, I couldn’t believe how sweet the second to last segment was. It was a true delight to eat. I was equal parts happy because it was so good while also being sad that I only had one more segment left.

It often feels as if the closer to the completion of a journey we get, the more satisfied we become. While at the same time also feeling anticipatory grief of the end looming. Holding two truths in one hand feels impossible sometimes but in reality, one segment of orange fits quite nicely.

After some time, I finally finished the orange. I felt a level of satisfaction that I had never experienced from one single fruit. I felt a new level of excitement about oranges and fruit in general. Even though I was no longer hungry, I was already looking forward to the next time I will eat an orange. But at the same time, I had a slightly bitter aftertaste from the juicy peel that was still covering my hands.

The endings of journeys are bittersweet. There is satisfaction of the completion, eagerness for the next opportunities, and possibly a bitter aftertaste left to address. Again, all the sensory experiences may be conflicting while also being complementing. Every adventure in our lives will come with its own echo, leaving us with more to learn.

One orange. So many lessons from one little orange. If it were not for this opportunity to be silent while moving through my day, I would never have stopped to listen. Silence requires nothing of us but also everything from us at the same time.

How much of life are we missing out on because of the noise we are creating? I can only imagine all the lessons I have skipped over in my life because I kept the volume a bit too high. The effort of silence may feel a bit high at times, but I am sold on its benefits. I think I will keep hitting the mute button a little more often.