Lessons from an earthquake

Guatemala is an incredible country. Full stop. It’s hard for me to put into words why it is so wonderful, you’re just going to have to take my word for it. I have experienced so much here in such a short time that has altered my being.

One of the first wild and wonderful experiences was being able to watch a volcano erupt!! (from a very safe distance!) The first time I saw it, my feet froze to the ground and my heart exploded in my chest. It felt unreal to be able to witness the earth doing something so incredibly powerful.

Later, I had the opportunity to hike closer to this active volcano. The way that hike changed me is still something I am processing. Being so close that I could hear, see and feel the eruption was an energetic experience that will never be lost on me.

But I also got to experience another new earthly phenomena while here; an earthquake!! It was just a little one but it stopped us all in our tracks. As we sat in silence for a moment longer to take it all in, I realized the earth is so very much alive and constantly in flux.

It is something that I brush over so often in my day to day life. I take for granted that the foundation I stand on is solid and unchanging. That if a rock was there yesterday, it will be there today and also in 100 years. I know that this isn’t true but experiences that are so in my face like this are quite rare.

When I get literally shaken out of that belief so quickly, it feels like it is something I should pay attention to. As if I am desperately being asked to remember that even when things feel solid and stable, they may not be. That if the earth is designed to be constantly remodeling, we probably are too.

It is a challenging balance to find, between seeking stability and solidity in life while also accepting and honoring change and instability. I’m clearly still stumbling between the two most days. It is innately human to prefer a stable foundation. Perhaps it is in our best interest to think the earth is solid and going nowhere.

But if we believe that of the earth, it can be so easy to extrapolate that to ourselves. That we are designed to become one way and once we reach that way, we are complete. That there is a destination to reach and then life will settle and stabilize. That at some point in our lives, we will solidify into who we truly are meant to be.

But boy oh boy have I been shaken out of that belief. Every time I think I solidly know who I am, it is as if an earthquake happens inside of me. I am shaken and shifted. Then I look around and realize that the shaking is exactly what needed to happen and somehow I feel more solidly myself.

No matter how often this has happened, somewhere deep within my brain I still want every shift to be “the one.” The end of the road to becoming my most authentic self. How easily us humans are fooled into believing stability is the goal.

Part of me thinks that we need this illusion in our lives. The truth is, the earth is never constant. There is not a second that passes that the earth stays exactly the same. We follow this same pattern. I don’t know if our species could process the amount of change that is constantly occurring within and around us at all times. The illusion of solidity and stability keeps us safe.

It is easier for our brains to believe this lie, no matter how false it is. This also makes the earthquakes and eruptions in life that much more important. Those moments of fracture, the shifting of our cells, has to be remembered, even if just for a moment.

Some days I get stuck in the remembering that nothing is solid and it rocks me a bit too much. On those days I now know I must remember that it is okay to believe in stability, even when it may not be the full truth. The earth doesn’t constantly shake and erupt. It rests in between. It settles into its newest version after each shift.

So must we. Rest between the rumbles and eruptions. Allow ourselves to be swallowed up in the illusion of solidity and stability for a tiny bit longer. Just always remember, the earthquakes will come and the eruptions will happen. It is all by design.