Lessons from a river

I was sitting on a swing over the middle of a shallow river one morning. It was dreamy to say the least. I had come early in the morning, before the city was awake and I had the place to myself. I was watching the water flow over my feet gently when I realized how beautifully clear the water was.

I am no stranger to clear flowing water. The rivers and streams of Colorado are crystal clear most days. But it made me think about an image I often hold in my mind. When I think of calm and clear water, I often imagine a lake at sunrise. Before the wind has begun and there is not a single ripple on the surface, the lake becomes a mirror for whatever surrounds it in the most magical way.

I’ve been at a meditation retreat lately so my mind has felt a bit more like that calm lake. It was an image referenced several times during the course. Allow your mind to settle like the surface of a lake. Let the ripples of thought decrease. Let yourself find clarity and calm. It’s a beautiful image to hold steady while attempting to find peace.

But as I was looking down at my feet this morning, I realized there are many ways to find and maintain calm and clarity. The stillness of a sunrise at the lake is a phenomenon that everyone must experience at least a few times in their lives, but sometimes life won’t allow stillness. When life continues to flow forward, we have to remember that rivers and streams can contain the same crystal clear water as the lake.

Perhaps it is because I grew up in Ohio but I hold this belief that moving water often is murky. As soon as water begins to flow at a certain speed, it begins to collect bits and pieces of its environment that will inevitably obscure the clarity of the water. I’ve seen even the clearest rivers turn brown from silt and mud after intense storms. Sometimes it takes days or even weeks for the clarity of the waters to return.

In Colorado, the clarity of rivers change seasonally. As the snow melts off the mountains and the spring run off begins, the rivers change drastically. What was a calm and clear river one day turns into a torrentially murky flow the next. Of course, it always returns to its clear origins, but it requires time.

Often when we think of meditation or even of having a calm mind, we only comprehend the image of the quiet lake. I held this belief that to have clarity and to be calm, I must be still. But as I said before, life does not often permit us to be still for long. I will always cherish the moments where my mind feels that clear but I am beginning to understand that stillness is not the goal.

If I can hold the same clarity but flow like the sweet river below my feet, I can go so much further. Life cannot be lived fully if we keep ourselves in one place. (Even if that place is the most beautiful countryside retreat center in Lithuania surrounded by amazing people!) There are times that a pause is necessary to let the silt settle out of the waters of our minds. This allows us to find our way back to the clear water we are designed to have in our minds.

But life will also have seasonal changes and storms. These will be times where the pace becomes too fast, the unexpected occurs or even a dam upstream is released. It is likely that clarity will be hard to find in these moments. It will feel as if your mind will never settle again because of all the mud and stones it is carrying. You will lose sight of your feet even in shallow waters. This is destabilizing and uncomfortable.

Perhaps the discomfort of the moments in life when we can’t find clarity are necessary. They become the times where we learn the most. When we cannot find calm within, it might mean we are in need of a few certain lessons water can teach us.

We are all designed to flow at different paces. Some of us have an external environment that allows us to move quickly through life and maintain clarity. Others are in a place where even a slight increase in the flow of our mind will cause it to become murky. We often don’t know our own limits and capabilities unless we play with the speed in which we move through life.

When life becomes too fast, by choice or circumstance, clarity is often lost. This doesn’t mean it won’t ever return. But it will require you to let go of what you are carrying to clear the waters. This often means you must slow down first. The mud and silt only settle out of water when the pace changes.

There is also the potential that if you stay still too long, the surface of your water will become covered with algae, plants or debris. It isn’t only fast flowing water that loses clarity but also stagnant water. Pausing for short periods to let clarity return is necessary but if you stay too long, it may not be as beneficial as you assume. Life requires movement from us eventually.

At the end of the day, the lesson is this; clarity requires awareness and effort. Our waters will not always be calm or clear but there is always potential for both. It often takes time, effort and patience to find the flow of life that works with your current world. And as soon as you master it, the seasons may change.

Water has often been one of my greatest teachers and this is no exception. I’m just beginning to become aware of the fluctuations of the river within my mind. Clarity and calm have not been easy to discover but every tiny glimpse I get makes it all worth the effort.

I will keep adjusting my flow, letting go and pausing when necessary.